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Let me begin with my favorite quote from my mentor Mark Twain. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did do."
I love this quote as it is so profound and yet so simple and true. In fact I have it framed on my desk as a constant reminder.
Yesterday - a distant memory. Tomorrow filled with promise, opportunity and whatever you choose to bring to it. Yes, we create each of our tomorrows and as a result all of our yesterdays regardless of whether they are filled with wonderful happy memories or grief, sorrow and any other negative emotion.
I will guarantee that you have read something somewhere that stresses the importance and the gift of all of your present moments. But, here's the problem - most people know that's all they have and will ever have, but research indicates that the average person spends over 90% of their waking time focused and thinking about the past and/or the future.
Why is this? For years I have studied brain function and emotions and there are physiological reasons for this behavior, but I won't bore you with years of brain research other than to say that we can change these patterns of thought, but we must want to and know how to and then act.
Let me just say that there are billions of neural connections in the brain and trillions of chemical reactions that take place every minute in your head and you don't have to be consciously aware of any of them. They happen automatically. Just think you have over 80,000 heartbeats every day and do you spend one second in awareness of them? No, but you become vividly aware when they stop.
We all have formed numerous mental habits of thinking over the years and these habits drive our thinking, actions, decisions and behavior. So, if you are a worrier it's simply because you have formed the habit of focusing on worry. If you are a dreamer you have done the same but in a different way or direction. One is negative and one is positive but they both focus on the future.
If you are filled with regret, grief or disappointment you are stuck in the past.
If you have an issue with patience -you are stuck in the future. Almost every emotion or feeling is focused on what lies ahead or what is gone - the past.
And, let me tell you - all of this mental energy is wasted. You can't change or relive the past and you can't control or manipulate the future no matter how hard you work, how much you plan and no matter how many goals you have.
Life is lived one moment at a time and at some point these moments for all of us will end and at that point all of the worry, plans, stress, anxiety, dreams, hopes, regret, anger, sadness and disappointment will no longer matter.
Let me leave you with a question - are you spending most of your waking time focused on the future, the past or now?
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