While defending yourself against false information may seem appealing; focus your energy on your truth and worry not about the people who choose to gossip and spread rumors about you. This type of behaviour has been seen in relationships, friendships and the workplace. There is usually someone who does not particularly like you or may perhaps, be jealous of you. The result becomes hearsay, gossip and false information being shared amongst others; then you hear it. You may be approached by someone or you may get the feeling that the whispering when you walk into a room is not necessarily positive.
This article has one purpose; to remind you that your job is not to defend yourself. Your job is to rise above it. Hold your head high and accept that sometimes people feel the urge to make things up. Sometimes a person you trust may twist information in which you have disclosed or shared about yourself. Sometimes the story you end up hearing is absolutely confusing. There are other times when the person concocting the story has wronged you; they want to build a circle of others who will take their side.
In general, most of us have faced gossip at some point in our lives - some of us have even shared gossip with another. That in itself is stealing your positive energy as well. For the purpose of this article though, I will focus on maintaining your self-esteem in the face of gossip.
How can it be ignored, you may question. Well, although it may not be the easiest task; it can be done. The energy you will save by ignoring gossip and not participating in it will multiply. You need to remember that your self-worth is based on what you believe and know about yourself. All too often I hear people talking about who said what and falling into the gossip trap. Gossip breeds gossip.
Period. When you hold your head up high and do not engage in the small talk you are actually empowering yourself.
When you are working on being the most fabulous you; what other people say does not matter. Sure, it may hurt to hear that people you might have trusted or respected are speaking ill of you. Certainly, it may stir up feelings of betrayal - but that is the lesson learned. You learn that you cannot trust the person, you recognize that not all people will stick to their word, you will meet and work with people who may not adore and respect you and you move forward. It really can be that simple. Fueling gossip leads to more of it. It is common knowledge that people repeat what they hear. While this does not apply to every single person it is a possibility.
When someone approaches you with hearsay; you smile and walk away. Empowering yourself to continue on your journey and wish the person well. When no response is given some people will choose to believe the story; others will soon recognize that it is a waste of breath. When coaching and counselling clients, I remind them of their choices. They can respond to the gossip, they can react to the gossip or they can ignore the gossip. It is an amazing feeling to reach a point in your life when what other people say does not impact you in regards to your self-esteem and identity.
There are so many positive people out there wanting to spend time with you and who build you up - why lend an ear and energy to negativity. It is more difficult for some than it is for others to turn off the noise and to regroup while focusing on the present moment. It can be done and I have seen positive changes in people's lives when they stop defending themselves and start living life on their terms with dignity and self-acceptance.
In order to let the gossip go you need to be mindful of what you say to yourself and others. Getting wrapped up in a good story may be fun for some people; likely it is more of a drain. When your life seems to be so important to someone else; take it as a compliment. There is power in silence when it comes to this type of stuff. Your true friends and supports will stick up for you if need be; all the while you keep smiling and doing what you do.
It may be more difficult for you when the person responsible for the gossip is a family member or so-called friend; or for some it will impact you more if it is a co-worker or employer. When you need the extra oomph to move beyond gossip and rumors call a friend, get outside and walk it off or journal about the many people and things in life for which you are truly grateful for. Whatever you decide to do, spend your time and energy on useful things which serve you and build you up not bring you down.
As tempting as it may be to defend your name or your reputation remember that the people who really matter already have your back.
Your life is too important to be wrapped up in negativity and drama; gossip fits into both of those categories.
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